It is truly the THOUGHT that counts

Part 1 - Saturday is our anniversary. 14 years of marital bliss. :) Since Matthew is in OKC we are not able to celebrate by going to the Melting Pot or leaving gifts on each other's pillows. So I decided since 14 was not a big milestone like say 1 or 20, we would just let the day pass quietly and be thankful for what we have.

Part 2 - We are trying to access Matthew's Hilton Honors account online to see how many points he has. We want to use them for a Christmas trip to New York. But we did not know the PIN to access the account online so we had to e-mail them to send the PIN to Matthew's e-mail address. I have been checking his e-mail for the past couple of days, waiting for the PIN info. (he has limited computer access)

Part 1 + Part 2 = another surprise ruined.

I think it is just impossible to surprise me. With anything! Good or bad. I have never been surprised. Not once. And I would so LOVE to have a surprise party. But somehow I always find out.

This morning I check his e-mail and I see an e-mail from ProFlowers.com containing "Your Order Information". Yeah. I now know that sometime tomorrow I will be receiving a dozen long stemmed roses. And that he paid $50 for them. Why is my first impulse to be angry? Am I mad at myself? Or him? Part of me is upset that he took the easy way out of a gift. Flowers are such a cop-out. UNLESS, they are sent on a total non-holiday "just because". I don't really like receiving flowers because they are a waste of money. They Die! But given on non-holidays, they are sometimes a nice surprise. And even though I don't like flowers, had they arrived tomorrow and actually surprised me, I would have been touched. But now...I know they are coming, I don't want them, so what emotion am I to feel? How about appreciation that Matthew even made the effort to order them. He is a man after all. They do not know the intricacies of gift giving.

HELLO? He knew I was checking his e-mail for the damn Hilton thing. Reality check - man not know online flower shops send confirmation e-mail. Man not shop online much.

But damn. Why? Just once.

Shut up Zinnia. Thank your goddamn lucky stars that you have a man that loves you unconditionally. That puts up with your shit. Your mood swings. Your overall bitchiness. That still manages to care about your happiness and sends you flowers to try to bring a smile to your face.

Be. Fucking. Thankful.