Soy un perdedor

Everything happens for a reason. I used to hate it when people said that. But now I think there might be something to it.

A couple days ago I made the (final) decision that I wasn’t going to apply to work at the Security Company. I have no idea what made that bell ring. It just did. But there must be a reason.

There must be a reason that I did so poorly on that stupid test. I knew I was doing it wrong! But I did it anyway.

My 90 day waiting period was up on May 13. There must be a reason that I have been putting off calling them for a month.

The reason is – I don’t want to work for them. That’s it. It’s done. My mind is made up.

Everyone I have told has said the same thing “That’s good. You wouldn’t have been happy.”

It’s just not the same as it used to be. If things could go back to the way they were, before the take-over, I would go back in a heartbeat. No doubt. But I don’t want to work for that company and all of their hand-tying rules. Why bother to have security, if you can’t stop the bad guys?

Nope. Not for me. I thought about applying to another store, but I don’t know. I am still thinking about it.

I guess I need to change my profile. I am no longer a “Loss Prevention Officer for a major department store.” It was such a fun job! I loved it so. I don’t want to change my profile yet. Because I really have nothing to put in its place. “I am a Salon Coordinator at the Aveda Salon in a major department store.” Eh. Doesn’t have the same zing.

“I’m a loser.”

Yeah. I like that one better.

I feel kind of worthless without a job. Even though I hate working. Is that irony? No? Not even Alanis irony? Maybe.

I have a lot of things to do this summer, so I really don’t have time to look for a new job right now. We are going to California the first week of July, then my friend the divewitch is coming to visit, then we are going camping the last week of July. Maybe in August I can look for a new job.

Or maybe not.

I can be happy with my little part-time job for awhile longer. Build up my travel fund again.

Speaking of travel: a milestone birthday is coming next year. We will call it “30.” I would love to take a BIG trip to commemorate the occasion. I have 4 destinations on the short list. (all dive destinations)

They are:

Australia – I have wanted to go there since I was a teenager. But to do it right I would need a minimum of 3 weeks and a lotta cheese.

Thailand – I feel I can truly call myself a traveler once I have Thailand under my belt. It has been high on my list since 1999ish.

Truk Lagoon – this a new one for me. Total dive paradise. Lots of wrecks. It is in the absolute middle of nowhere. I have no idea how I would get there or how much it would cost. But that is part of the fun.

Egypt/Red Sea – this is more for Matthew, although I have wanted to see Egypt for a long time. When I was a little girl, my great-grandmother (on a camel) (who I inherited the travel bug from) used to show me a picture of her riding a camel in Egypt and say “Look at your great grandmother on a camel.” Back in 1974 or so, saying you went to Egypt was quite a big deal. Almost unheard of. Every time I saw her she would whip out that picture and tell me stories about Egypt. That is why my cousin and I called her Great-Grandmother on a camel. And still do to this day. (except that I no longer talk to my cousin)

So that’s it. I need to start figuring this out soon because a trip of this magnitude will take some planning.

Matthew is still in OKC and I am still bored. I hate this. I am so bored I made a myspace page. I am too old for myspace. I know that. But I was curious. If you want to see it, go there and search for Zinnia. I don’t feel like posting a link on here yet.